SpacesSitting in Starbucks once again, sipping on our coffees with the pups at our feet, a question was buzzing through my mind.
I looked over at Vic. I analysed her. She was sat stirring a sweetener into her late. She seemed content, but her leg was bouncing up and down, over and over. It was a habit she had for as long as I can remember. It only happened when her mind was racing.
“Vic, does he still effect you?”
She glanced up at me, and then straight back down to her coffee.
“Yes, Megs. Every day.
I mean, I don’t miss him anymore. But there is this big dark gap in my life. I know it sounds silly. But it’s almost like I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes. When we lived together, I knew what time he would be home, I knew when I needed to start making his dinner and stuff. Now, it gets to 5pm, and I just don’t know what to do. I just don’t know what to do with that gap. It makes me so nervous.
Though, I am defo getting used to having that big bed all to myself!”
I understood exactly what she meant. Sometimes, I would find myself sitting on the sofa over the weekend, just staring into space. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
See, this is the thing about the end of a relationship. Whether it be due to infidelity, or any other reasoning, we are left with a space in which the other used to consume. It is when you are faced with that space that you may go into panic. It can send your brain into overload again. However, we should not be focusing on this space as a negative. This space is an opportunity. This space gives you the chance to focus on you!
I explained my thoughts, and Vic agreed.
“But what if I don’t know myself anymore Megs? I’ve spent so long being someone else to make him happy. I’m not even sure what I LIKE anymore!”
So, we made a pact. Once a fortnight, we are going to do something new. We are going to work ourselves out again. Learn ourselves. We will practise self-love, and fill our lives with things that make us happy.
How about you join our pact? Use the space as an opportunity to find yourself again, and grow.