Barbra was my hairdresser for a few years before we started dating. I had always had a crush on her, she was beautiful, but she was in a relationship with someone else.
One day, her colleague Fiona nudged me in the waiting area, and said Barbra likes me. She winked at me. I smiled at Fiona, and asked how she knew I liked Barbra. She cracked up laughing, was it really that obvious!
While she was cutting my hair, it dawned on me that Fiona was right. She really did like me too, so when I stopped grinning like a cheshire cat I plucked up the courage and asked her out, and too my delight she said yes!
The first few months flew by. They were intense and passionate, filled with happiness and laughter. I was one lucky guy, I felt on top of the world!
One lazy Sunday, we were having a duvet day. Barbra told me to grab the chocolate out of her bag. As I did, I noticed her phone light up. My heart sank as I saw a message from “Chris”. I remember it so clearly. It said, “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, are you with him? x”
My stomach sank, I went to the bathroom, her phone in my hand. I started to read the messages. It was apparent they had been seeing each other for some time.
Barbra burst in to the bathroom, and snatched her phone from my hand. She didn’t say a word. I demanded an explanation for her behaviour.
“He was a rebound from my ex. I was keeping my options open, just in case we didn’t work out. I am sorry, I will tell him it’s over, right now.”
And she did. We never spoke about it again. I should have realised that this was the first warning sign.
Time went on, we fell in love, I proposed. We were so happy. It was a whirlwind, and a 2 years later we had a beautiful baby boy, Elliot.
About a year later, Barbra started working late, she was always “out for dinner with the girls” etc. I should have seen the signs again. But I didn’t.
Then, Barbra won a trip to Brazil with work as she had had the most colour sales in the salon. I was so proud of her, and she was so excited for her get away! I wasn’t worried, as she was going with her boss, and a few of their friends. What was there to worry about?
She only called home once in 10 days. Again, I should have seen the signs, but I didn’t.
Looking back on the time, I can see now that she was no longer affectionate, she was snappy, and would then over compensate with words like “You know how much I love you, I hope you know that”. I didn’t see the signs.
About two weeks following Barbra’s return, my friend James asked if we could go to the gym and for some dinner afterwards. James was my best friend, and his other half Pyda was Barbra’s best friend.
At the gym, I noticed that James was training with so much intensity. He hardly spoke to me. Looking back, I guess it was nerves. We sat down for dinner, and he suddenly became very serious. He said he needed to tell me something, I can remember his face, wide eyed and nervous.
He told me that Barbra had confided in Pyda that she had slept with the tour guide in Brazil. Multiple times. He uttered that he was so sorry. He couldn’t look me in the eye.
The anger filled my body. I walked out. I had to ask her for myself.
“Right then, Brazil? Tour guide? Tell me everything.”
I couldn’t even wait for her words, the horrified guilt that had spread across her face said everything I needed to know.
I left the house. My phone was pininging continuously. Every excuse under the sun.
“I was drunk”
“He took advantage”
“I was vulnerable”
She begged for forgiveness.
My mind flipped back to the Chris situation at the beginning. It started racing. All the signs hit me, one after the other. The late nights. The flirty behaviours. Everything.
I stayed with friends for the next few weeks.
One day we sat down, and I explained that I could not forgive her.
“I’ll always love you and I don’t hate you, but I can never trust you again. I’ll always be there for Elliot and continue to be a great dad, I love him so much. I will always be there for you as a friend, I just can’t do this I’m sorry.”
The hurt on her face pained me, but the person I felt the sorriest for was my beautiful little boy. He didn’t understand why Daddy wasn’t at home anymore. It was so horrible to watch.
I even watched YouTube videos on cheating and can you forgive your partner, read forums, went on yahoo answers, I loved her I wanted to see if I could forgive if it was possible but how if possible, fact is I concluded it was not possible.
I was heartbroken, the trust has gone. I’m wise enough to know it will never be the same again.
Being a man, I find it quite strange talking about my emotions like this. I am a strong and proud man. At the beginning, I was consumed with what the tour guide had that I didn’t. But I don’t think like that anymore.
It is still very fresh but I am starting to think more positive and chucking myself into work and focusing the gym and spending time with my gorgeous little boy. I will get through this, I am strong.
I don’t believe in revenge, only karma. She has lost a decent family man. If there are any females that read this and are tempted or have cheated, please listen to my words. If you love him and want to be with him, please think long and hard before any impulsive choices, because more lives get affected more than you realise.
I think it is important that people know loyal men get cheated on too. You don’t hear much about it, but I can assure you it happens to men too and it hurts a great deal.
PLEASE NOTE – This is a true story provided by a gentleman who contacted us and wanted to share his story on infidelity from a male perspective. Whilst the content is his and we have approval to share it, his name has been changed for protection of his identity. If you would like to share your story with us please feel free to email it on our contact page.